Hagrid in Wonderland
by Chaos formerly Rini
Summary: Well... Hagrid ends up in Wonderland!


This was a METMA challenge. The challenge was to write a funny story where as many characters as you want from Harry Potter get transported to Alice in Wonderland. I was really very hyper and sick, and it was my birthday when I wrote this. Enough said... hehehe...  
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"Curiouser and curisouser..." said Hermione as she walked, no, floated down the rabbit hole, holding a forgotten book open in one hand.  
"Hey! That's MY line!" shouted a blonde girl a few feet below few is a lot in my language.  
"Sorry, Alice!" Hermione hollered back. Suddenly, the hole was filled with screaming as a red-haired something flew down the hole, crashing into lopsided clocks and other things as he went. This something was followed shortly by a black-haired something, who was going considerably slower, but still, it was a very alarming rate.  
"HARRY?" asked Hermione incredulously.  
"Yeah..." he managed to say before falling down more. He grabbed onto Alice, who sank a bit before returning to her slow float, Harry hanging off her headband.  
"Let go!" she shrieked, pulling off her headband and letting go of it, sending Harry plunging down into the darkness.  
"Hmm..." Hermione murmured. "It MUST be a hovering charm, designed so only girls can float," she said happily after a few moments of thinking. She always needed an explanation for everything, and this one quite satisfied her.  
"What ARE you talking about?" humphed Alice from below.  
"That would be why Harry went slower than Ron... he's girlier," she concluded, getting overtaken by a sudden fit of giggles. Suddenly, a huge something came shooting down the hole. Alice and Hermione got stuck under the enormous feet, and were pulled down by the creature's gianormous weight. Couldn't think of any more words to describe big  
" Hagrid!" said Ron as the thing landed, squishing Alice in the process. Hermione had managed to get out from under his foot and came floating down, alighting on his shoulder.  
"Oops... smushed someone there," Hagrid said lightly. He peeled Alice off his shoe, saying, "So how did we get here?"  
"I don't know. How DID we get here, Ron?" Harry said.  
"Dunno," he shrugged, "Ask Hermione, she always knows."  
"We came through the rabbit hole," she said simply.  
"That makes a whole lot of sense," Harry said sarcastically. They set off into Wonderland after this little interchange, not needing to change heights as Hagrid just broke through the wall.  
"Iiiiiiiit's aaaaaa very merry un-birthday to me," the four heard some very off key singing, and stopped at a tea party.  
"Oh, they're mad. I'm not going to stay here," Hermione said as she spotted the Mad Hatter and the Mad Hare.  
"Cool," said Ron, staring at them. He walked over and joined the party, becoming the Mad Ron.  
"OK, let's leave," Harry said, "It's a lost cause to try and get him away any time soon..."  
So the three set off, attempting to fin the White Rabbit, although they didn't know why. Suddenly, Hermione squealed, "Look! It's the caterpillar!" and ran off, promptly engaging in a very intelligent discussion in which both became very baffled.  
"We won't be getting' 'er away within the next few years," said Hagrid, his beetle eyes crinkling as he smiled. Harry and Hagrid continued on through the wood, until a smile appeared before them.  
"Cool! Look at that!" said Neville.  
"Neville? Where did you come from?" questioned Lavender. "Wait! How did I get here?" The smile began to move away, and a tail appeared. "Come on, Neville. Let's follow it! We shouldn't be here any ways," she said, grabbing Neville by the wrist and dragging him off after the smile.  
"That was odd," Harry said to Hagrid, who nodded in agreement. They continued on, and a minute later they appeared before a rather large flower garden, where all the flowers could talk and were Harry's height. Hagrid crossed it quite easily, and had to wait a long time before Harry emerged, blushing furiously and straightening his robes. He didn't notice the petals that were stuck in his hair. Heehee... couldn't resist (If you get my drift).  
"That rose has got some attitude, eh, Potter?" came a cold, drawling voice. Harry turned to find Malfoy standing there, grinning evilly.   
Shocked, Harry asked, "How did you get here?"  
"Ummm... ah... er... actually, I don't know," Malfoy replied, wandering off, pondering this. Pretty soon, Harry and Hagrid saw two boys (who looked suspiciously like Crabbe and Goyle) playing an odd version of sumo wrestling, making odd beeps as they bumped Hehehe, I liked that! Beeps and bumps lalala.  
"Nice!" said Harry, joining Tweedle Crabbe and Tweedle Goyle. He was now Tweedle Potty.  
"Kids these days," muttered Hagrid, walking off. Suddenly the White Rabbit appeared ahead of him. "Wait for me!" shouted Hagrid, running after him. ROFL! Imagine: a very old dog acting like a puppy. That's the equivalent of this: Hagrid acting like Alice heheheeeeeee. Somehow, he couldn't catch up with the little thing that was the size of his pinky nail.  
"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!" the Rabbit said, running ahead. Only as Hagrid burst into a hedged in garden did he stop and question his own behavior.  
"Why am I followin' that rabbit?" he said to himself, "Oh well..."  
"We're painting the roses red, we're painting the roses red!" sang some cards. They began to paint the patches on Hagrid's brown pants red.  
"I'm not a rose bush!" he roared, squashing as many as he could.  
The queen of hearts burst into the garden, screaming, "Off with his head! He's too big!"  
Another card, holding an ax (and looking very much like me... mwahahaha!) approached Hagrid and began jumping up and down in front of him. "He is too tall, your majesty!" the card shouted.  
"Off with his head, too!" the queen roared, indicating at the beheader, who promptly became the beheaded when he cut off his own head. LOTS OF HEADS!!!  
The queen approached Hagrid, who simply squished her, causing all the other cards (that were left) to cheer and make him king.  
"That was curious," said Diana, Alice's cat, from up a tree, "A giant was made king of the cards!"  
"That's nice, dear," yawned Alice's older sister from under the tree.  
"Oh! And look! A werewolf is going down that rabbit hole."  
"Mhm... A CAT IS TALKING TO ME?!" she screeched, and began banging her head against the tree.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing! NOTHING! The Harry Potter characters are J.K. Rowling's, and I have no idea who owns Alice and Wonderland, but a lot of the stuff was from the Disney movie.  
  
Should I continue with this? I think I left a good finishing place, but I also can continue from here... Let me know!  
  



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